My husband and I have been married 5 and a half years and we both would love to have a baby. We have been through 2 devastating miscarriages in the past year and are currently giving ourselves a little break before we start trying again. I just read a friend's blog, that she is 10 and a half weeks pregnant and they just found out! She's living with her boyfriend and can't keep a decent job for the life of her. I want to be happy for her, I really do; but my jealousy won't let me! What can I do to control my jealousy?
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I understand exactly how you feel. My husband and I have been TTC for a while. We both want so badly to have a baby. In the time we have been trying. 2 of my best friends have gotten pregnant (one of which we had talked about getting pregnant together), my sister-in-law, a college buddy and a friend at work. I feel like I am the kid on the playground that didn't get picked to be on the kickball team. I was sooo jealous of them all at first. Could barely smile when I talked to them. Then I started thinking that I needed to change my attitude big time. Treat your friends like you are so happy for them. Maybe even go above and beyond. They know that it is awkward and they know that you are probably hurting very bad inside, but the less excited you are for them the more it is going to push them away. You might be faking you excitement, but after it is all said and done it is the best thing to do. I know this is probably not the best advice, but I almost try to be cheesy. Buy my friends congrats cards, little baby stuff, bake cookies. While it is so hard for me to deal with them being pregnant and me not, I feel a lot better about myself when I do things for them. Yes it is going to be hard, but just do little things for them and act happy. Even though you may not feel it right now deep down you are happy for them, you are just so sad because it is not you. Be sure to smile too. It will all work out and you will be so thankful when it does. I know I sure will. (Hope this helped)
Good luck TTC!
That's a hard question to answer. We lost our infant son (who went full-term) to major heart and lung defects this past spring. I've been so jealous of women, even strangers, who are pregnant. I also sometimes just want to tell (but do keep my mouth shut) pregnant women who look so happy about their pregnancies, hey, things go wrong! Everything isn't always perfect. Things don't go the way we want! I don't want things to go wrong for them, but maybe I want to dampen their enthusiasm a little bit. I will never be able to have a care-free pregnancy again. Every moment will be spent worrying about every little thing that can go wrong. I learned recently that two of my first cousins were pregnant. One still is, as far as I know, and the other did experience a late-ish miscarriage recently. I was upset for her, but also just slightly relieved, because I don't have to be jealous of her anymore(!!) . . . and I can't believe that I am admitting this! I feel terrible about saying that.
I guess I really don't know what you can do to control your jealousy!
(((hugs)))
this is a hard one because i know that feeling & jealousy is such a strong feeling. i think it is so hard to be truely happy for your friend & it only make syou feel crapy. my advice would be to treat her the way you would want her to treat you if the tables were turned. when i found out i was pregnant & my friend had lost 2 babies & could not get pregnant, i felt horrible. i didn't know what to say to her or how to even talk to her. i felt horrible! so, just know that maybe your friend feels bad too. your time will come & everyone will rejoice with you just the same. =D
I know how you feel, i just recently had a miscarriage a few wks ago. And a few of my friends are pregnant and sometimes I find it hard for me to be happy for them. I am its just hard cause i want it too.
you cant, theres no way that you wont be jealous anymore, you can tell yourself you arnt, but you are, Im on the saem boat as you. I kinda feel like i hate people that are pregnant even if i dont know them, its hard, i had a stillborn Oct. 5th. 2008 and im never ever going to get over that. Im sorry for your lost. But i want you to know that your not the only one out there, theres me, and alot more women, Good luck, if you need anything yoyu can contact me!
why be jealous/ yes babies are cute until they get older-all the shots teething, ear infections, and all the responsibilities/ and they grow up fast/ i can remember breast feeding my daughter after her birth like it was yesterday- she is now 22 and has her own mind/ all i can do is give her advice/ she says she's unhappy most of the time/ she lives with her drunk dad she doesn't make enough money to be on her own and all guys want is sex and not relationships- this is what she tells me and i cannot do anything because she left and chose her life.
I understand how you feel, I've been in your shoes before. The only suggestion I can give you is to be happy for her, for the simple fact that you wouldn't want what happen to you to happen to her.
you just wasn't meant to have a baby yet just be happy for her and i'm sorry to hear about the miscarriages it will happen when god thinks your ready for it god bless you and hope its successful this time
i will pray for you